Cecil’s Plan

I have a plan to deal with the big game hunters!
(A serious one, not a ‘kill them all’ one)

Cecil the lion.jpg
Cecil the lion” by Daughter#3 – https://www.flickr.com/photos/daughter3986851963/4516561242/. Licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons.

So, the complication with banning big game hunting, which seems like an obvious solution to the hunting of endangered species and is now being implemented by some countries under pressure from the West, is this: the people who go to hunt the big game pay many tens of thousands of dollars for the ‘privilege’. That money is used to fund the reserves, maintaining land and preventing poaching and so on. The vast swathes of land that need to be monitored and the animals who need to be protected, tracked, etc, are all paid for in large part by the licences ludicrously rich people pay for to hunt big game. A limited number of licences are handed out each year, depending on how many the parks decide can be sacrificed to save the whole park. It’s an awful mathematical decision, but it’s how the parks have stayed in the hands of people who actually try for conservation and preserving habitats for so long.

Losing that income will be devastating to the ability of the parks to function, to protect the species inside their borders and to maintain the land. What to do?

This is my idea: You get three options.

1 – you pay your tens of thousands of dollars. You hunt the animal – tracking, sneaking up on it, etc. Then you get a photo of you with the animal in your sights, and you don’t kill it. You can post that photo everywhere you want, showing that you are the superior species, you won, etc, but that you chose *not* to kill it because that would be unnecessary now you have proven your worth. Everyone on social media should then share it about, talking about how amazing you are, and look at how fantastic this is, etc. This should feed your need for apex predator status, bragging rights, with the added bonus that you can be smug about how awesome you are.

2 – you pay your tens of thousands of dollars for a licence to hunt and kill big game. Other people are given the opportunity to purchase another licence to hunt and kill you during the period of time that you are hunting. If they fail to kill you before you kill the big game, their chance is over. So you get ultimate bragging rights if you do manage to survive and kill the big game, you get the adrenaline rush of being both hunter and hunted, and you get to represent the ultimate presentation of the Law of the Jungle.

3 – you pay your tens of thousands of dollars for a licence to hunt and kill big game, nobody tries to kill you, but you have to do it without weapons. You can use sticks and rocks you find on the ground, but otherwise you have to give the lion a fighting chance. No guns, no bows, no drones, no mini trebuchets. Just you and the lion. You get all the bragging rights. All of them. If you win. Good luck.

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